diversity

Vivian Brenner: Life Independent of Faith

I wasn’t really sure what to say. Religion is a private matter. At least, that’s how I was raised.

“Where is your faith home?” Vivian Brenner, a Matthews resident for almost two decades, was startled by this frequent question when she moved here from Washington, DC, back in 2000. “I wasn’t really sure what to say. Religion is a private matter. At least, that’s how I was raised.” People she met would press her for an answer. A few even became incensed when she replied, “I don’t have one.”

Brenner considers herself an atheist though culturally Jewish. Her parent’s families were Jewish immigrants from Poland and Russia. Her mother’s side of the family was more interested in helping people than in religious observance. They were union organizers in New York City for the International Ladies’ Garment Workers Union. “Grandpa was very fierce about human rights. About people’s right to have a dignified life.”

Vivian’s Maternal Grandmother

Vivian’s Maternal Grandmother

Her father’s family were more traditional, conservative Jews, but with the same interest in helping others. Her great aunt collected food from the well-to-do to stock food pantries for new immigrants in Norfolk, VA, in the early 1900s.

As for her own upbringing, “My dad was a scientist. We were very much guided by his scientific method, testing every belief.”

 
All of us. We’re supposed to make the world a better place for everyone, not just a special few.
Photo courtesy Vivian Brenner

Photo courtesy Vivian Brenner

With this family background, Brenner developed a deep belief in treating people well. “All of us. We’re supposed to make the world a better place for everyone, not just a special few.” Her lack of belief in an external God “is not a denial of anyone’s personal beliefs.” She feels strongly about this. “I don’t care what people say their beliefs are or what church they go to or don’t go to. I care about how people behave.”

Matthews, says Brenner, while not overtly prejudiced about religion, is influenced by its predominantly Christian population. Meetings begin with Christian prayers. Public spaces are decorated for Christian holidays. Awareness of her minority status is unavoidable. She feels “an ingrown caution” when it comes to talking about religion with people she does not know. “I am pretty discreet in Matthews and in my life.”

Matthews, while not overtly prejudiced about religion, is influenced by its predominantly Christian population. Awareness of her minority status is unavoidable.

Discreet though she may be, Brenner is not afraid to raise her voice and stand up for her beliefs.  In June of 2013, she joined the Moral Monday protesters at the state legislature building in Raleigh, led by Rev. William Barber, protesting poor teacher pay, erosion of voting rights, and lack of Medicare expansion. Thousands showed up for these protests begun in 2013, and more than a thousand protesters have been arrested over the years. On June 3, 2013, Brenner was among the protesters arrested for trespass. The arrest record reads, in part, “…assembled with at least three or more persons engaged in disorderly conduct… failed to disperse and remained at the scene.” Another charge was “Post or display of signs and placards.” Brenner was carrying an 8.5X11” sheet of paper that read “Protect Voting Rights.”

Brenner has great respect for Rev. Barber’s work, but, she says, a belief in God is “unrelated to my belief in moral, considerate and ethical behavior.” Reverend Barber agrees.

 

Meet Your Neighbors: The Milledges

Photo courtesy Sarah Milledge

Photo courtesy Sarah Milledge

In 2011, when Sarah Milledge (née McAuliffe), now 37, met Jermaine Milledge, now 34, the disparity in their lives couldn’t be greater. She came from a small town. He came from a big city. Sarah is Caucasian and petite and loves to talk. Jermaine is 6’7”, was working on a Master’s Degree (she had her BA), is African-American and doesn’t love to talk. He is also a few years her junior.

“It was like ‘yin and yang,’ “said Jermaine.

What they did share was a common employer (State of Michigan); the fact that both had lost their fathers at an early age and, most importantly, that both are blind. Sarah suddenly lost her vision from Type I diabetes at the age of 23. Jermaine has been visually impaired since birth.

What they found, together, was love, commonality, a life dedicated to promoting awareness of the possibilities for those experiencing vision loss (and other disabilities) and the importance of community, diversity, and inclusion.

Together, they have a handful of degrees, certifications, sit on several state boards and have significant job experiences to their credit. (They both also sit on the town’s Diversity Council). Moving to Matthews four years ago for work has been a blessing. They recently purchased a new home in town which they share with Sarah’s Yellow Labrador, Echo, 12.

“Community is huge,” said Sarah. “We get a lot of help from a lot of people in Matthews. We love Matthews.”

Today, the pair knows they are role models for others with challenging disabilities. “It’s not something I tried to be,” said Jermaine, “but you just become that by having certain successes. You kind of become a trailblazer in a way. To show people that you can succeed despite barriers.”

“We advocate every day for ourselves and our clients who are also visually impaired,” said Sarah. “Living in a world with disability – that won’t stop. We’re always setting goals; I think we have empathy. We know what it’s like to be misrepresented; to overcome barriers.”

In the end, it is their love and connection that will remain. “I absolutely love my husband,” said Sarah. “We work so well together as a team…. There was a lot of blood, sweat, and tears. We have climbed the mountain. We feel like we have an army around us with family and friends.”

Brakeman's Coffee: A Sharing Space

(L to R) Mark Moore, David Johnson, & Dave Braysden Photo by Cyma Shapiro

(L to R) Mark Moore, David Johnson, & Dave Braysden Photo by Cyma Shapiro

Last winter, in an overture of friendship and community, the owners of Brakeman’s (David Johnson, Mark Moore, and Dave Baysden) placed an enormous menorah in the front of the building, loaned by the group at ZABS. “The foundation was friendship and trust,” said David.

“I was into the power(ful) story of Chanukah,” said Mark. “It was an opportunity for the Christian community to understand the power of the story.” They also hosted an opening lighting ceremony with ZABS folks providing narrative to the lighting.

We wanted a space that was life-giving...How do we make sure that this space is embraced by everybody?
— David Johnson
brakemans outside.jpg

“We wanted a place that was ecumenical in its approach,” said David, explaining the vision for Brakeman’s. “We wanted a space that was life-giving. We’re not rooted in making money. How do we make sure that this space is embraced by everybody?”

“This is a place where people can share their story, tell their stories – whether it’s religious, personal or otherwise,” he said. “Those are the things we (try to support).”