Bintou Ceesay: The Muscle Whisperer

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

In her childhood homeland of Gambia, Bintou Ceesay’s grandfather would make his grandchildren massage his feet at the end of a hard day. When her own mother was pregnant and took a bad fall, Bintou watched her remedy this by placing warm, wet towels on her aching low back. Growing up, her father placed high value on a healthy lifestyle and always being active. The importance of eating right, self-care, and all the other aspects of “maintaining the physical being” became a high priority in Bintou’s daily life.

At age 15, during a time of great political unrest, her parents sent her to live with her sister in Maryland. By 21, she yearned to be with schoolmates and enjoy better weather, so she moved, again – this time to Charlotte.

More than a handful of years later, she had her first professional massage – an experience which set the course of her life in an entirely new direction.

“When I got my massage, I said, ‘That’s incredible, when done the right way!’ ” So, she set out to investigate this as a possible new career, with the idea that she might offer this same experience to others. Within a few years, she had signed up for massage therapy school; nine years ago (during her pregnancy!), she received her license.

Bintou, 40, is now in her sixth year as a full-time professional massage therapist. Having lived in Matthews for more than two years and working in town for six, Bintou finds it to be “a good balance of location and a good balance of people.” She says it has also provided a home for both her family and her business. “Matthews has a lot to offer!” Bintou said.

But, it is her love of massage combined with her love of helping people that fuels her passion for getting up and going to work each day. “This is a career that is very much tied to who I am as a person,” said Bintou. “The muscles and anatomy are underappreciated and overlooked. Massage is the perfect balance of everything.”

“I believe in [this],” she said. “They come and try massage therapy and find it meaningful for themselves...addressing the whole being.” Recently, a client asked her how she knew where to focus on.  She responded with a laugh, “You can call me the ‘Muscle Whisperer.’”

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

I.T.S. Athletic Training: The Extra Mile is Built on Character

Follow Fit.by.Felando on Instagram

In 2014 Felando Clark was at a crossroads in his life. His pastor asked him a few questions: 1) What do you dream of doing? 2) What do you feel when someone else does something really poorly? (And, in what field would this be?) 3) What would you do even if you could do it for free? The answer was simple. Within days he quit his job and became a personal trainer. He opened I.T.S. (Impact Training Systems) Athletic Training.

Today, at 50, the Mint Hill resident has numerous successes under his belt – all won through I.T.S.

Last year, one of his clients was a first-round draft for the NFL; this year, three of his clients/kids are entering the NFL draft. Another client was just signed to play professional arena football.

In 2014, he started an eighth-grade football training program designed to help athletes prepare for high school football. Of the 13 kids enrolled in that program, eight of them went on to play football in college.

During football season (July – October), he helps train kids who come from all over the country to attend the nearby Jireh Prep School, hoping to shore up their sports or academic skills necessary to transfer to a Division I team.

His current success? A female middle school student who is one of the top middle school soccer players in North Carolina, playing on a state team which travels to and competes with other state-teams. Felando believes she’s so good that she might end up qualifying for the USA soccer team, in a future Olympics.

Although Felando clearly has a fire in his belly to win (as do many of his kids), he places as much emphasis on the character and leadership qualities he has helped instill in them. He says he knows that talent, alone, will not take them very far (or give them longevity) in the professional leagues – it is the innate qualities which will also help make sports stars. And, in many cases, both he and they are aiming for the top.

But, Felando does not just measure success by his client’s professional achievements, he also helps senior citizens, and dozens of other adults get fit, find confidence and become healthier. He takes innate pleasure in assisting them to reach their own goals and seeing them push through to conquer their personal challenges.

Retelling his four-year journey, Felando marvels at his fork-in-the-path story, his subsequent life-choice, and his well-deserved happiness with its successful outcome.

What are Felando’s favorite quotes? “Go the extra mile – the lines are shorter,” and “I can’t’ is not an option!”

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

I.T.S. Athletic Training
640-E Matthews Mint Hill Road/Matthews Executive Park
704-449-8843
Facebook: @ITSCoachClark

RAW to Reclaimed Woodworking

“I do love the smell of wood. All wood does something: it reacts differently, cuts differently, smells differently.”

— Ryan Watkins

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

To Matthews resident, Ryan Watkins, owner of “RAW (his initials) to Reclaimed Woodworking,” each piece of lumber, each piece of wood has a story to tell. “You can [often] feel the history of the wood,” he says as he looks around his new 2000 square foot warehouse (4002 Matthews Indian Trail Road) with wonderment and pride. On this day, he’s looking at pieces of ash, maple, walnut, oak, and antique pine.

As he’s working with these pieces, he says, he imagines the pilots standing around smoking cigars – a recycling of history and of raw materials, now used in another place and time.

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

He’s most proud of the 1840s pine planks resting in his shop, which came from Minnesota after being torn down from a barn originally used for WWII glider pilot training. As he’s working with these pieces, he says, he imagines the pilots standing around smoking cigars – a recycling of history and of raw materials, now used in another place and time.

“I do love the smell of wood. All wood does something: it reacts differently, cuts differently, smells differently,” he said. For Ryan, utilizing all his senses when creating something out of wood gives him both fulfillment and purpose. It is now also his undeniable passion.

In 2017, Ryan hung up his Matthew’s Fire Department captain’s uniform and fireman’s gear for the last time. With 17 years on the force, he was tired, injured and in need of a Plan B. He had a wife and two children; their well-being was foremost on his mind.

Although Ryan had always tinkered with his hands and with materials like wood, about one year earlier, a designer-friend asked him for his help with some small custom projects. This would be a weekend and night’s project.

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

Later that same year, he was offered the opportunity to make 24 table tops with oak veneer plywood, for a South Carolina group opening a restaurant. He was game, but only had his 250 s.f. of work space in his garage. A scramble to find an appropriate location landed him in his new warehouse and his new life-path was soon carved out. Joined by his wife, the office manager, this became a team effort.

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

To Ryan, using both new and reclaimed wood, recycling has become a metaphor for starting over.

“Taking a pile of lumber and turning it into something, that’s where the satisfaction is,” he said. “A lot of it is to put it on the workbench and see what you can do with it.”

He is working hard and diligently to chase his dream. “I’m nowhere near the peak where I want to be,” Ryan said, adding that he watches other long-time woodworkers who are successful and is following their lead. “We’re going to grow; we’re going to reach for the stars. Watch out IKEA!” he said with a laugh.

We’re watching.

RAW to Reclaimed Woodworking
R2Rwoodworking.com
704-200-5374
@raw2reclaimedwoodworking

Meet Your Neighbors: The Milledges

Photo courtesy Sarah Milledge

In 2011, when Sarah Milledge (née McAuliffe), now 37, met Jermaine Milledge, now 34, the disparity in their lives couldn’t be greater. She came from a small town. He came from a big city. Sarah is Caucasian and petite and loves to talk. Jermaine is 6’7”, was working on a Master’s Degree (she had her BA), is African-American and doesn’t love to talk. He is also a few years her junior.

“It was like ‘yin and yang,’ “said Jermaine.

What they did share was a common employer (State of Michigan); the fact that both had lost their fathers at an early age and, most importantly, that both are blind. Sarah suddenly lost her vision from Type I diabetes at the age of 23. Jermaine has been visually impaired since birth.

What they found, together, was love, commonality, a life dedicated to promoting awareness of the possibilities for those experiencing vision loss (and other disabilities) and the importance of community, diversity, and inclusion.

Together, they have a handful of degrees, certifications, sit on several state boards and have significant job experiences to their credit. (They both also sit on the town’s Diversity Council). Moving to Matthews four years ago for work has been a blessing. They recently purchased a new home in town which they share with Sarah’s Yellow Labrador, Echo, 12.

“Community is huge,” said Sarah. “We get a lot of help from a lot of people in Matthews. We love Matthews.”

Today, the pair knows they are role models for others with challenging disabilities. “It’s not something I tried to be,” said Jermaine, “but you just become that by having certain successes. You kind of become a trailblazer in a way. To show people that you can succeed despite barriers.”

“We advocate every day for ourselves and our clients who are also visually impaired,” said Sarah. “Living in a world with disability – that won’t stop. We’re always setting goals; I think we have empathy. We know what it’s like to be misrepresented; to overcome barriers.”

In the end, it is their love and connection that will remain. “I absolutely love my husband,” said Sarah. “We work so well together as a team…. There was a lot of blood, sweat, and tears. We have climbed the mountain. We feel like we have an army around us with family and friends.”

Artisen Gelato: Love by the Spoonful

“The first concept of gelato was developed by indigenous people during the Inca civilization in Ecuador. These people used to walk to the Imbabura volcano bringing packs of ice which were carefully placed between grassy vegetation (“paramo straw” or “frailejon”). They would also use rock salt to prevent the ice from melting. After they settled everything, they poured fruit juice, or sometimes milk, into a big, bronze pot (“paila”); the liquid was stirred quickly until frozen and in just a matter of minutes, they got a fresh, handmade gelato.”

— ArtisenGelato.com

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, many local businesses are offering their own special touches. At Artisen Gelato (301 West John Street), patrons can choose from the new holiday flavors of Red Velvet, Lemon Crème and Pomegranate - all great additions to the 24 other possible flavors rotated throughout the year.

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

Owned by Ramon Riofrio and Marcia Monsalve, Artisen Gelato sorbet is vegan-certified and does not contain trans fats, gluten, nuts and derivatives, soy, eggs, artificial coloring, or artificial flavors. Seven of the rotating flavors are made from 100% natural fruit pulp; the remainder are made from coconut milk. The store is a natural outgrowth of Ramon’s early Ecuadorian childhood upbringing – creating gelato with his grandfather.

This Valentine’s Day, Marcia hopes to see more of what she’s witnessed in past years – “couples sharing gelato.” (Two years ago, a teenager came in with two cups – each decorated with his and hers photos, and asked to fill them for his sweetheart.) “It’s fun to watch people here,” she said, “engaging or falling in love!” Add-in witnessing the “happiness of the kids” with severe allergies who are being treated to something which they love. “We are blessed to be here,” she said,” and blessed to help people.”

An original family run business, the couple has just opened its first franchise in Boca Raton, Florida, and hopes to add another handful of stores in the next year or so.

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

Artisen Gelato
artisengelato.com
301 West John Street
704-804-8160

Mon-Sat: Noon – 9 p.m.
Sun: Noon – 8 p.m.

Providence Florist: Connecting the community through flowers

“Working with generations to help give messages which touch their heart. We are the one to give them a message for life.”

— Sara Kathrotia

Photo by Renee Garner

This year, on Valentine’s Day, Providence Florist (118 E. Charles St.) owner Sara Kathrotia will sell at least 1,000 roses (red, orange, yellow and hot pink), not to mention more than 125 other types of bouquets including tropical flowers from Hawaii, orchids, gingers, protea, combined with anthurium  (shape of a heart) and assorted bouquets with stargazer lilies and roses – which she says creates a “really romantic, beautiful smell.” 

Photo by Renee Garner

This year, as in previous years, it will be all hands on deck – they’ll hire temp delivery drivers to help them with the overflow. It will be the boyfriend of the store’s manager, some friends, a previous employee, possibly Sara’s son, and her husband.

While most orders will be for one dozen roses; many men will order two to three dozen. (Sara says it’s usually men doing the ordering – each year, she only receives a few orders from women sending them to men).  The record rose- ordering amount was five dozen white roses – which came from a man proposing to his lady.

Now in her 20th year of business, she, together with her husband, Rajesh, are well-established in the Charlotte-area florist community. Originally located in the Arboretum, and now two years after her move to Matthews, she says it was borne of loving the town center’s uniqueness and finding a reasonable location. Her “good customer base” did not hesitate to follow, she said.

Her love of flowers, owning their own business, and the birth of her first son 21 years ago (wanting to be near home or have him be with her) created the perfect symbiosis to enter floristry.

“It’s an interesting business,” she said. “Working with generations to help give messages which touch their heart. We are the one to give them a message for life,” she added, referencing those children who send flowers to the elderly or even critically ill relatives who live in the area.

“We feel good that we’re there for people. Making a connection and giving a good message from family to others,” Sara said.

Photo by Renee Garner

A cyclical business, the year of a florist typically begins on Valentine’s Day and moves on to proms, Mother’s Day, Teacher’s Appreciation week, graduations, back to school/fall, Thanksgiving and the December holidays. Interspersed are wedding requests.

However, Valentine’s Day remains their biggest and busiest holiday. “We do everything in two days,” she said. “It’s all about love and expressing that to others – including a girlfriend and wife. Kids send them to mothers; fathers send flowers to daughters and to wives. All to show them how much they appreciate how much they do for them,” she adds.

“When we deliver for Valentine’s Day, husbands like to impress their wives at work,” she said, chuckling, that they get to hear the “ooohs and ahhhhs” from the office staff gathering around.

On Valentine’s, more than most other occasions, she finds that “people call at last minute.” A few years ago, a man who had just returned from a trip walked in just as they were closing. He said that he had forgotten the holiday and that he couldn’t show up home without flowers. That was before he realized he’d forgotten his wallet, too.  

Sara recalls, “He said, ‘I can’t call my wife to get my credit card number!’ We felt his pain and said, 'we’d make whatever you’d like.’ ” With two dozen roses in hand, he left happy and called back the next day with his credit card info. She adds, “He said, ‘you made my day and my year! I would have had a terrible week, for sure, if I hadn’t given [flowers] to my wife!’ ”

Providence Florist
118 East Charles Street, Matthews
704-542-3500

Monday - Friday: 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Saturday: 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.
Sunday: closed

Photo by Renee Garner

Meet Your Neighbors: Caren Carr and Tony DiRamio

“We had to make a decision. I didn’t know how much time we’ve got. People say, ‘Why did you get married, you could go so soon!’ But, it doesn’t matter. We can have happiness.”

— Tony DiRamio

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

Approximately, five years ago and within a one-year span, Caren Carr’s spouse of 16 years and Tony DiRamio’s spouse of 42 years passed on after struggling with terminal illnesses.

As a Catholic and a Jew, respectively, neither Tony, now 77, nor Caren, now 67, knew the other except in passing at the monthly Hospice and Pallative Care Charlotte Region Support (HPCCR) Group meetings. With family in various places across the country, neither had local relatives to count on. More importantly, both had just experienced the grief of losing long-time loves, and both already had long-established full lives in Matthews.

So, when the support group ended, in early 2015, Tony attempted to continue getting the group together – this time, at a local restaurant. Only Caren showed up. The meal lasted a full two hours with much discussion, reminiscences, and reflections on loss and grief.

Six weeks later, they went on a joint transatlantic cruise ship together. Six months later, after dating exclusively, Tony asked for Caren’s hand in marriage.  “I was very surprised,” said Caren of the proposal. “I said, ‘you don’t have to tell me tonight,’ ” said Tony. “I didn’t [answer] him right away,” reflected Caren.

“After being married for 42 years, it was kind of lonely living in the house,” said Tony. “I didn’t [just] want to live with someone. I wanted a long-term commitment. I’d been married my whole life and I had a lot of life ahead of me,” said Tony.

“We weren’t looking for this, but we had something in common because we’d had loss,” Caren said. “I started being his friend; he started being my friend.”

While they considered an elaborate wedding, a suggestion at the county clerk’s office to keep their names made them consider an easier path – finding a judge or magistrate available immediately and determined by day. “I said, ‘let’s get married tomorrow,’ ” said Tony. The pair went to a jewelry store that afternoon to pick out rings and asked a neighbor and her husband to stand as witnesses for them.

The next day, they visited the magistrate (working) in the local jail. They brought $20 in cash to pay for the ceremony. The neighbor brought a cake from Publix. They were married on October 28, 2015.

When asked later about the event, Tony joked to friends that they “had about six hundred people [in attendance], but most of them were wearing orange suits!”

And, in answer to people’s judgment about their marrying again so soon, or even at all, after the loss of spouses, Tony is clear: “The grief is still there. Just because we got married doesn’t mean that we don’t have feelings [about our previous lives],” he said, noting that they both had good marriages. “We go thru a process; we talk about it sometimes. There are still certain things you have to get over.”

“We weren’t looking for this, but we had something in common because we’d had loss.”

— Caren Carr

Having lived for a few years in Caren’s old home, last January, they moved into their new home, together. Now, they share a love of travel, of going out to restaurants, and of living in Florida for a few months/year each winter. They also share religious traditions and visits to their respective houses of worship.

“In older age, it’s different than when you are younger,” said Tony.  “We had to make a decision. I didn’t know how much time we’ve got. People say, ‘Why did you get married, you could go so soon!’ But, it doesn’t matter. We can have happiness.”

“We’ve been married four years. I’m happy,” he said. “It’s very difficult to change a lot of habits. She has her [ways]; I have mine,” said Tony, stating that in the end, they “work it out.”

“But, it’s a really happy story,” added Caren.

At their passing, the couple will bequeath money to HPCCR. “We’re so grateful for meeting and for the care our spouses got,” said Caren.

Michelle Sigler's Trifecta of Healing

“I felt like I could [originally] help people with just their muscular-skeletal issues. Many think acupuncture is [just] for pain – but it’s actually so much more – anxiety, infertility, allergies… It treats the mind, body, and spirit.”

To long-time massage therapist, Michelle Sigler, 56, of Charlotte, simply doing massage therapy on her clients did not seem to satisfy her deepest desires to help her patients find optimal pain relief.

“I loved that I was helping people on a very deep level,” she said. “I wanted them to really relax, de-stress, and heal. However, I felt limited by how I could help – I wanted to help them in other areas.”

And so, after trying acupuncture, herself, and finding help and personal relief, she returned to her school, nearly one decade later (this time, at the Jung Tao School of Classical Chinese Medicine in Sugar Grove, NC), to become an acupuncturist. That was 2010. She sequentially furthered her education by going on to complete a two-year program of Chinese Herbal Studies at the Academy for Five Element Acupuncture in Gainesville, Florida.

Today, she feels she can offer the best possible services – a trifecta, really, of massage, acupuncture, and Chinese herbs - all specifically individually designed for her clients’ health. (She’s also a Reiki Master.) Add in her other specialties such as pregnancy massage, hot stone massage, and facial rejuvenation acupuncture and Michelle feels more than satisfied with the wide range of services she can offer.

“I felt like I could [originally] help people with just their muscular-skeletal issues,” she said. “Many think acupuncture is [just] for pain – but it’s actually so much more – anxiety, infertility, allergies….. It treats the mind, body, and spirit.”

At the heart of her work is the knowledge that these treatments and modalities offer an Eastern perspective and an alternative to traditional Western medicine-care.

“I want people to know that they have an alternative to their healthcare,” she said. “That they have health freedom and that they can choose which direction they want to go.”

Michelle realizes that some people’s fear of needles or, of the unknown, is something she must navigate while providing care. “I think that people are scared about acupuncture because they associate needles with getting shots at a doctor’s office,” she said. “[Those types of] needles tear the skin, these needles are [small and] solid.”

However, her overarching philosophy remains fundamental to her work. “[Acupuncture] is based on a Daoist philosophy - the perspective is very different – it’s very holistic cosmic energies of cold, wind, heat, damp, dryness and existing in us,” explained Michelle. “We are born from the earth and so the energies that we see in nature are a part of us – and they resonate with us.”

While acupuncture is used for pain relief and musculoskeletal problems, it can easily be used for any number of other ailments ranging from infertility and hormone imbalance to sleep and digestive function.

The history Chinese acupuncture dates back a few thousand years; it was first referenced in 100 BCE. Acupuncture is a form of alternative medicine in which thin solid needles are inserted into the skin at various “acupuncture points” along specific pathways, called meridians, located throughout the body. It is a key component of traditional Chinese medicine which states in order to achieve optimal health, good “qi” or “chi” (energy/life flow), a person’s yin/yang must be in balance. The very light, small needles (smaller than a sewing needle) used are of various sizes and lengths. Sessions range from 20 minutes to one hour. The number of needles used corresponds to the condition being treated, its severity, and the philosophy of the practitioner.

While acupuncture is used for pain relief and musculoskeletal problems, it can easily be used for any number of other ailments ranging from infertility and hormone imbalance to sleep and digestive function.

“I have seen miraculous things,” Michelle said. “I’ve seen people who are very discouraged by the western medical system and get the runaround by one specialist and another… They are not getting relief. I can help people – that’s what keeps me motivated to do this kind of work.”

Michelle Sigler, LAc LMBT
1118 Sam Newell Rd, #D3
704-641-0188

Mark Frye: Alchemist of Love

They had endured innumerable crises and experiences; their love was a story for the ages. Harry and Carla Workman turned to Matthews jeweler Mark Frye to capture their constant faith and love in wearable form.

Photo courtesy Mark Frye

When long-time jeweler, Mark Frye, manager of Trade Street Jewelers (100 West John Street), was asked to create a one-of-a-kind necklace for the Workman family, last fall, he knew little about the back story and the long journey which was about to unfold right before his eyes.

His clients, Harry and Carla Workman of Mint Hill, had previously lived a 15-year family journey – starting with Carla taking on Harry’s three children at marriage, to Carla’s subsequent diagnosis with cancer. Then, four years ago, her mother was diagnosed with brain cancer (and passed).

The original design created by Harry Workman’s daughter.

They had endured innumerable crises and experiences; this was a story for the ages, said Harry, who had all along imagined an infinity symbol with an anchor as an indelible image reflecting their constant faith and love.

And, so, he asked his daughter to create such an image; they also toyed with getting matching tattoos on their ring fingers. Then, one day, last year, he got a tattoo of such an anchor on his forearm and went home to show his wife.

She said, “I’m not going to get a tattoo like that!” But, she had a thought: to create a likeness of that same image using pieces of both her mother’s jewelry and her own. Who better to ask this of but her beloved jeweler, Mark.

By using the images provided, Mark would make a three-dimensional piece of what was two dimensional. Together with a designer from Texas, who cast the piece, the result would allow “the full design with the breaks and wraps” which you can’t see on the flat image.

At points, Mark says, he and the Workmans were in touch so often that their conversations eclipsed those he’d usually have with his family or children. One month later, the final creation was born.

Photo courtesy Mark Frye

“I love the symbol of all of it,” said Carla. “It’s beautiful,” she said, adding that she wears it all the time. To secure the free-dangling hooks, Mark eventually put the three-dimensional piece on a solid shape of white gold so that the fragile end pieces wouldn’t break or get caught on clothing.

“The tattoo has become a story of our love story,” Harry said. “The emblem has become a family crest. [Now] Carla wears precious metal from the precious family. [Our symbol] is memorialized from this medallion that Mark made so beautifully.”

Although Mark is often asked to make custom pieces, this experience has touched his heart and cemented his relationship with the Workmans. “This was a unique experience,” he said. “This was different because it had a story that had deep sentiment to them - that was the significance.” Add in the request “coming from an already great customer,” and the result meant a lot to Mark, too. It is work which gives his talents and skills even greater meaning.

In the future, Harry doesn’t think that any more anchors will be created for family members, but he and Carla have their own design, forever. “It’s something really special between us,” said Carla. “That we’re always going to be bound together…in infinity.”

Kind of like their relationship with Mark.

Photo courtesy Harry Workman

Trade Street Jewelers
100 W John St, Matthews
(704) 321-7944

M - F 10 a.m. til 5 p.m.
Sa 10 a.m. til 4 p.m.

When Elvis Comes to Town

People of all ages come to Matthews to enjoy the music of Elvis, but the majority are 50 or older. Many sing along with the often-familiar tunes. Eyes closed, they are transported back in time; back to their youth, and a simpler time when this music was their music.

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

On a handful of nights each month, people walking by Jonathan’s Restaurant (10630 Independence Pointe Parkway) might catch the sounds of songs by Elvis Presley, or June Carter and Johnny Cash. Maybe they’ll hear a song originally sung by Patsy Cline or Conway Twitty.

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

On the nights that Elvis is in the house, it might be sung by Chad Champion (of Charlotte) portraying a younger, more energetic version of Elvis; Wayne Brockwell (of Albemarle) showing a more mature side of the actor/singer or even the more polished and sophisticated show by professional Elvis impersonator Jack Byrnes (of Mint Hill). Some nights, “Shelvis,” Helene Mueller, will perform, often with her husband, George (of Mint Hill).

On this night, the third Thursday of the month, it’s the Rock and Roll Oldies Club of the Carolinas. The 1st Thursday of the month, it’s the Elvis Fan Club of Matthews-Mint Hill. And, on the 3rd Saturday of the month, it’s Danny and Donna’s Saturday Night Showcase. There are approximately 200 total members in all these groups, but members often appear at each others’ events. Over time, this gaggle has become more like family. (In truth, there are groups just like these meeting all year, throughout the country.)

Tonight, as with most nights, it’s more than a dozen newbies and old-time performers belting out the tune of their choice. Everyone gets respect and their due. More than 80 people are eating, laughing and intermittently watching the performers. Tonight’s headliner is Wayne. But, at one point, he’s joined by former Monroe resident, Josh Clough, 50, back in town from Arkansas with his Elvis impersonation (and his Elvis-hair).

Josh is passionate about this role, swinging around in fine Elvis fashion, finally hitting the floor with a signature Elvis move. He apologizes to the crowd for his apparent rustiness, he says, but this doesn’t seem to stop him from being in the moment, or them from enjoying his spontaneity and passion.

“It’s a part of history that’s a dying thing. We will probably not have as big a following as the years fade away. This will probably be the last generation where we have this big of a following and commitment to Elvis and Oldies music.”

— Danny Jordan

In each and every case, the few-minute spotlight is theirs…in this moment in time and with this song. Performers patiently wait while the headliners sing, then the remainder of the group performs in the order they are registered. Since this is karaoke night, each has the benefit of the nearby computer scrolling the lyrics, although most don’t seem to use this extra help.

As nearly always, people of all ages are in attendance, but the majority are 50 or older. Many sing along with the often very familiar tunes. Eyes closed, they are transported back in time; back to their youth, and a simpler time when this music was their music.

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

Recently, long-time DJ, promoter, booking, and productions, Danny Jordan (the Danny of Danny and Donna’s Saturday Night Showcase) has taken up the mantle for these shows. At 60 years of age, he is one of the younger members of the group – a group he passionately loves and loves to promote. “I love all of them,” he said.

“We’re all keeping Elvis and the Oldies music-tradition, alive….I’m kind of trying to preserve the Elvis and the Oldies-image and give them a place to showcase themselves,” Danny said. “It’s a part of history that’s a dying thing. We will probably not have as big a following as the years fade away. This will probably be the last generation where we have this big of a following and commitment to Elvis and Oldies music.”

Back at the restaurant, long-time members are quick to discuss where they were when they saw these late-great headliners; who they may have met in person and who still knows someone related to these favorite, well-known singers.

While this might be fun, the fun is often used for the greater good – helping those out in the community. Many volunteer their time in nursing homes and at specialty events. Often they rotate between groups throughout the region. Each evening, a bucket is passed around for donations; one-half of the money goes to the headliner, the remainder goes to that Club.

“These guys are really serious about what they do,” said Danny. “They go to nursing homes, raise money for NC Special Olympics…we raise money for people who are having financial issues. We do that when needed.”

Often shows are put together just to raise money, but at the end of the day, this remains pure old-fashioned, old-time family entertainment.

“We’re a bunch of old(er)….guys who have been in the entertainment business,” said Danny. “Now we’re just kicking back and having a good time with people who enjoy the same kind of entertainment and music.”

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

Pappy's Cuts, Downtown Matthews

A step into Pappy’s Cuts is a step back in time.

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

A step into Pappy’s Cuts (208 West Matthews Street) is a step back in time. Old-fashioned toys on shelves, older photos on walls; sports memorabilia proudly displayed around the room. A sparsely decorated waiting room, an inner room with two hairdressing chairs (only one is still used) and original wood paneling make it all feel like yesteryear.

Add in the spirit of the beloved original owner, David Large, Sr. (who passed in 2017), but remains in the hearts and minds of many clients (now in their 70s, 80s, 90s and even over 100), and you get the feeling that time has truly stood still – what remains is the ever-steady presence of David’s son, David Large Jr., 49, of Mint Hill, who chose, more than one dozen years ago, to follow in his father’s footsteps.

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

The only noticeable differences: the original $5 haircuts are now a fixed $10; a 2018 shop name change from Barber Shop to Pappy’s Cuts – was done in memory of and in tribute to David Jr.’s dad.

In truth, very little else has changed since the Large’s originally took ownership of the building in 1996, itself already frozen in time with much of the original 1950s décor. (His mother originally used a significant portion of the house for her finance business; only small two rooms encompass the barbershop).  

A dry-wit abounds here – a gentle, but constant ribbing of and by the owner, as his many long-time clients revolve in and out of the front door. David’s title on his business card: “Cranium Sculpting Engineer;” a specialty price, $7 for “Follically Challenged” patrons (balding or sparsely-haired) all attest to a place where stories are shared and camaraderie appreciated and encouraged.
Many older clients come through just to sit in the waiting room and/or the shop to banter about stories; as long as paying clients aren’t in the seat, David obliges.

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

David is more than a barber – a therapist, friend, buddy, and confidant. If only the walls could speak…

The end result for David, like his father before him, is the “tons of best friends…and golfing buddies” he’s gained, many of whom share his love of sports (he was also a marathon runner).  He says that to many repeat clients, he’s more than a barber – a therapist, friend, buddy, and confidant. If only the walls could speak…

Choosing to remain silent on many stories, one of his most memorable moments was shaving off the hair of eight buddies (two with long braided hair), who wanted to support a good friend struggling with the after-effects of cancer treatment.

The father of a 14-year-old daughter, David says that her Saturday presence - to mop and sweep floors - gives him the inkling that she may choose to go to hairdressing school and potentially follow in his footsteps. If not, it remains an all-in-the-family operation with his wife also in and out of the shop. (His early end-hours reflect his need to get his daughter from school and spend quality time with his family).

On this day, an 85-year-old long-time client and his 80-year-brother were getting their hair cut. “I just want to get a good haircut!” ribbed the older brother as he finally got his turn in the chair. Speaking loudly, David asked him to take out his hearing aids so they wouldn’t get cut. It was another fine day at the local barbershop.

“We provide men’s haircuts with great skill at good prices. No up-charges, no bull. And we throw in some laughs, a lot of sports talk (ok, maybe there’s some bull going on here), and random conversation.

At the shop, we “do” simple. No online appointments, no answering machine. If we answer the phone, we’re here. ”

— @pappyscutsmatthewsnc

Pappy’s Cuts

Mondays from 8 a.m. – noon
Tuesday-Friday, 8 a.m. – 3:30 p.m
Saturday from 7:30 a.m. – noon

704-844-2617.

Coming Out in Matthews

“...we have a unique experience, and that’s not something to be overlooked or made unimportant.”

— Alex Brookins

Photo courtesy Alex Brookins

When Alexander Brookins openly began his transition four years ago, both his Providence High School administrators and his family and their friends did not know how to cope.

His parents anguished over how they might best respond to his needs.

His teachers did not know what pronoun to use with him or what bathroom to offer him. They also did not have a vehicle for his subsequent request to change his name legally.

Alex was adjusting to his new public gender identity while many of his friends were also coming into their own undefined identities and sexualities; a few were just “coming out.”

Everyone needed support; most especially the kids.

Also at Providence in 2015 were senior Derby Belser and her then-girlfriend, Kelly Berenfeld, a sophomore. While they didn’t walk down the hallways holding hands or show “PDA” (public displays of affection), they did tell their friends and family and posted their relationship status on social media. One of the very few gay couples to openly come out in high school in Matthews, they now both consider themselves unexpected role models.

According to several educators, these young adults have changed the landscape of how these issues are addressed in school. Kids, now young adults, who, in openly exploring their sexuality and questioning concepts of gender, started a broader public discussion.

“Society is progressing. Matthews is, as well, especially being so close to Charlotte... I’m glad that we were able to pioneer in our high school and set the example.”

— Kelly Berenfeld

“In high school, they are trying to figure out who they are and how they identify,” said Gender-Sexuality Alliance (GSA) Advisor Sharon Walker, who came onboard in 2006. “The population you would see in August would be different than May,” she explained. “The stigma about talking about these issues 20 years ago doesn’t exist today. And, when you take away that stigma, it takes away the ‘charge.’ ”

“It’s important for adults who work with students to just be aware of new studies and new information coming out about these students,” she said. “There are so many different ways that students identify [themselves]. The fluidity of that is different than [a generation ago],” she said.

To stay abreast of trends and an increasing amount of information, Sharon regularly attends conferences and diversity workshops and takes the GSA group each year to the Carolina Conference for Queer Youth/Queer Conference at UNCC.

Derby Belser and Kelly Berenfeld. Photo by Cyma Shapiro

While adults in the oldest generations might be struggling for ways to cope with these changing mores, those in the youngest generations and the adults working with them have increasingly developed a vernacular and support systems designed to provide comfort and guidance.

“I believe, in the last five years, [all of this has] become a much more relevant conversation,” said PHS’s guidance counselor, Lindsay Walker. “Our Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) has become a very supportive group on campus. Students have become much more aware of the LBGT community – it’s a more comfortable conversation. The students are more supportive of all [of the] students.”

“I think that Matthews is being forced in a new direction. When Christians support the community, a whole lot changes. If there’s a change, I think the whole society will change.”

— Derby Belser

Initially, the Providence High School club was called the “Ally Club” (as in, a person who supports someone else). About one year later, the group became the GSA. The original handful of kids were “quiet, timid, sullen,” said Sharon. “I was very concerned about these youth,” she said, adding that many of the original participating students were faced with bullying of all kinds.

Noting that this population is at a higher risk for suicide (the rate is 4x higher for the LGBTQ+ population in general, and 40% of transgender individuals have attempted suicide), and because, as a counselor, she is ethically obligated to advocate for any students who are in need of services or at-risk, she became even more passionate about her work and helping keep the kids safe. “My passion comes from a point of being an advocate,” said Sharon. “I can’t educate my students if they aren’t alive.”

In the spring of 2016, following a ruling from the 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Richmond, Va., CMS adopted regulations designed to allow students to use locker rooms and restrooms that fit their identity. Those regulations also permit students to use their preferred name and pronouns in yearbooks and during graduation ceremonies. That same year, gender identity was added to CMS’s bullying policy.

“My passion comes from a point of being an advocate. I can’t educate my students if they aren’t alive.”

— Sharon Walker

When CMS passed its new anti-bullying policy, it became necessary for teachers to address the issue and receive staff training. Although many (especially older) staff members were initially resistant to this change in societal mores – referencing faith and other personal beliefs – the PHS administration was very supportive of the students and the GSA group.

Now, Sharon’s GSA group numbers 30 to 40 students who officially join each year, with 20 to 30 students who attend weekly meetings. Student officers present a variety of topics ranging from historical perspectives to how to be with relatives during the holidays. Occasionally, speakers from Charlotte’s Time Out Youth (the area’s largest LGBTQ+ nonprofit resource center) will also provide workshops. Students also participate in Day of Silence, a campaign to raise awareness about the shame and silencing issues surrounding the LGBTQ+ community.

Across town, Butler High School’s GSA was started about ten years ago with a handful of students requesting the opportunity to just meet and talk. Now, there are 30 to 50 kids in attendance, according to GSA Adviser Marcia Smith. The group meets twice a month – once for educational purposes and the other as a social gathering.

“I think we’ve made a lot of progress,” said PHS’s Sharon Walker. “We’re here as a resource and support – part education, part advocacy, and support.“

As a junior at Providence High School, Alex became the first publicly transgender student at PHS. He was also the first Matthews student to achieve the opportunity to change his name on the school roster without a corresponding name on his birth certificate. (He later became Vice President and Co-President of the GSA group at school.)

Today, Alex understands the importance of shared experiences but does not necessarily navigate toward trans-individuals and groups. “The experience we share is grief and upset, and that’s not a really good way to build relationships,” he said, continuing: “I don’t want to be that negative…we didn’t know how to support each other. We didn’t know how to handle our own feelings, let alone help [one another].”

“I’m grateful to have this experience of being trans and having a different perspective of the world than a lot of people have,” he said. “I spent a lot of my life feeling like I’m not one thing or another – [that] we are not ‘normal,’ ” said Alex.

“But, we have a unique experience, and that’s not something to be overlooked or made unimportant.”

In the past few years, Kelly has provided guidance and support to friends and acquaintances discovering their sexuality (many of whom acknowledge that they could not share this fact with their parents).

Derby has become the chair of her college sorority’s diversity and inclusivity arm. She also recently posted a coming-out Youtube (and Facebook) video titled, “Just a Southern Gay Sorority Christian Coming Out,” which now has more than 2,000 views.

“It is important to stay actively gay and open in the community – not to show that this is a passing phase,” said Derby. “I think that Matthews is being forced in a new direction,” she added, indicating that when she lived in town, she felt judgment from her church. “When Christians support the community, a whole lot changes. If there’s a change, I think the whole society will change.”

Kelly echoes Derby’s sentiments: “Society is progressing,” she said. “Matthews is, as well, especially being so close to Charlotte... I’m glad that we were able to pioneer in our high school and set the example. I know there are a lot of people who are more comfortable being out because of us. I appreciate that we could have done that for people.”

In the end, it is Sharon Walker’s perspective that best captures the current status of this movement and group: “A lot of the students in public schools are pioneers in what this is going to look like,” said Sharon. Whether it’s HB2 (bathroom policy) or something else, she said, “this has become a much bigger conversation, and it’s only going to continue to grow.”

---

According to 2015 CDC data regarding LGBTQ+ students:

• 10% were threatened or injured with a weapon on school property;

• 34% were bullied on school property;

• 28% were bullied online;

• 23% of LGB students who dated during the 12 months before the survey had experienced sexual dating violence in the prior year;

• 18% of LGB students had experienced physical dating violence;

• 18% of LGB students had been forced to have sexual intercourse at some point in their lives.

Bethany Salisbury: Capturing Pets in Paints

Photo of Bethany Salisbury courtesy the artist

“I’m lucky to be able to do [this work]. It’s been my passion since I was a kid. I love animals and I love to paint.”

Bethany Salisbury, 31, of Matthews, knows a thing or two about pets and pet portraits. That would be nearly 900 things to be exact – the number of pet portraits painted by Bethany in the last handful of years.

A commercial artist, illustrator, and designer, Bethany has had much success with her pet portraiture, illustration and traditional paintings. And, while it is “80% dogs,” it’s also cats, rabbits, horses, birds, elephants, goats, a few ferrets, and sometimes people.

The series "Beer Dogs" will soon be on display at Temple Mojo in downtown Matthews. Photo by Cyma Shapiro

Since her mainstay is on social media, and with online orders, her clients come from all over the world (Australia, Africa, Hong Kong, to name a few places) and throughout the country. “I get a lot of repeat customers,” she said. “Many buy these for gifts.”

A childhood spent at art camp and in private art lessons, with minimal TV watching and maximum encouragement to create, combined with a love of animals led her to do just that: create paper dolls, make graphic novels and comic books about dogs.

“I’ve always grown up with animals,” she said.

The series "Beer Dogs" will soon be on display at Temple Mojo in downtown Matthews. Photo by Cyma Shapiro

While she captures the often impassioned and enamored looks of her subjects - “I think dogs are expressive,” she said. “I think it’s kind of second nature (to intuit their) emotions” - she is also not immune to the whiles of animals, herself. Bethany and her husband are the proud owners of one Miniature Long Haired Dachshund, Mochi, and an Australian Cattle Dog named River.

“I’m lucky to be able to do [this work]” said Bethany. “It’s been my passion since I was a kid. I love animals and I love to paint.”

Giant Genie Pharmacy and Community-Based Health Care

“Here we have solutions that nobody else has... We’re applying the knowledge that we learned in school; not many pharmacists can say that in a daily setting.”

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

To Bill Henning, Pharm.D., pharmacy manager and minority partner of Giant Genie Pharmacy (2925 Senna Dr.), compounding is both an art and a bonus to offering traditional pharmacy services. The pharmacy is one of two compounding pharmacies in Matthews and has been in town since 2010.

“People have to go back to believing the pharmacy is a health-care provider,” said Bill. “We need to be that point of contact in the community because people can reach us.”

In the 17th to 19th centuries, compounding in the US was a function of physicians who prescribed and created their patients’ medications. In the 20th century, with the advent of mass-drug manufacturing, compounding decreased. Today, the industry is experiencing a resurgence as the importance and need for custom-made medications becomes more prevalent.

According to Wikipedia, pharmaceutical compounding is the creation of a particular pharmaceutical product to fit the unique need of a patient. To do this, compounding pharmacists combine or process appropriate ingredients using various tools. This may be done for medically necessity, such as to change the form of the medication from a solid pill to a liquid, to avoid a non-essential ingredient that the patient is allergic to, or to obtain the exact dose needed (not already readily available). It is also the basis for creating bio-identical hormones.

Approximately 5-10% of Genie Pharmacy’s business involves prescriptions for animals.

“It’s exciting…that we can have an impact on so many people from pediatrics to geriatrics,” said Bill. “I have a lot of colleagues who work for big-chain pharmacies…they are put in a more [prescriptive] role where they are expected to fill [a certain number of] prescriptions a day and can’t pick up the phone to talk with people. Here we have solutions that nobody else has... We’re applying the knowledge that we learned in school; not many pharmacists can say that in a daily setting.”

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

The pharmacy retains a staff of four pharmacists and a few drivers – a staple since they offer free delivery.

While the downside of compounding is the cost – approximately $40 - $60 more per month, the individual attention to medication, coupled with a drive for customer service and a “family feel” often makes these Mom and Pop pharmacies more desirable.

“I enjoy it because I wake up each day and get to be excited to come to work,” said Bill.

Meet your Neighbors: Jeff Turk

“There are universal experiences, but viewing it through the unique lens of the Jewish experience, around the world, does give greater understanding, great empathy and greater connection with [all] our neighbors.”

Photo of Jeff Turk by Cyma Shapiro

When long-time Matthews resident and a recent Matthews 101 graduate, Jeff Turk, co-chair of the Charlotte Jewish Film Festival Screening Committee, attends the opening of the upcoming festival, he will again “kvell” (Yiddish for “feel happy and proud”) that another year of Jewish movie going-greats will again be offered in the city.

Now, in its fifteenth year, the festival will offer thirteen films between February 9 and March 3. More than 5,000 film-goers are expected to attend. Five writers/directors/actors will also be present to promote and lead discussions regarding some of the films. This year’s biggest draw will be former Houston Astros player, Josh Zeib – on hand for one of the movies.

As co-chair, Jeff and 15 others work year-round to find and screen films, concentrating on the months between June and October. At the end of this period, they will have vetted and watched 200 films, paring them down to what they believe will be the “best” choices available.

For Jeff, the current president of the Board of Directors of the Levine Jewish Community Center (JCC), this involvement, and decades of prior significant volunteer service, provides the satisfaction that comes from both building bridges in the community and helping present the Jewish experience. He has also volunteered his time with various other arts organizations. The film festival remains a long-time endeavor and one in which he’s especially proud.

“There are universal experiences,” said Jeff, “but viewing it through the unique lens of the Jewish experience, around the world, does give greater understanding, great empathy and greater connection with [all] our neighbors.”

“The film festival provides illuminating cultural opportunities….stories with universal appeal, (but) with a Jewish (slant),” he said. “I’d like to reach out to the greater community to become an audience member. Because anybody who has an interest in good films, other cultures and religion, will have a real appreciation for [this]…It really does illuminate the Jewish experience and, I hope, it makes a positive impact on our community.”

For more information, e-mail cjff@charlottejcc.org