meet your neighbors

Meet Your Neighbors: Caren Carr and Tony DiRamio

We had to make a decision. I didn’t know how much time we’ve got. People say, ‘Why did you get married, you could go so soon!’ But, it doesn’t matter. We can have happiness.
— Tony DiRamio
Photo by Cyma Shapiro

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

Approximately, five years ago and within a one-year span, Caren Carr’s spouse of 16 years and Tony DiRamio’s spouse of 42 years passed on after struggling with terminal illnesses.

As a Catholic and a Jew, respectively, neither Tony, now 77, nor Caren, now 67, knew the other except in passing at the monthly Hospice and Pallative Care Charlotte Region Support (HPCCR) Group meetings. With family in various places across the country, neither had local relatives to count on. More importantly, both had just experienced the grief of losing long-time loves, and both already had long-established full lives in Matthews.

So, when the support group ended, in early 2015, Tony attempted to continue getting the group together – this time, at a local restaurant. Only Caren showed up. The meal lasted a full two hours with much discussion, reminiscences, and reflections on loss and grief.

Six weeks later, they went on a joint transatlantic cruise ship together. Six months later, after dating exclusively, Tony asked for Caren’s hand in marriage.  “I was very surprised,” said Caren of the proposal. “I said, ‘you don’t have to tell me tonight,’ ” said Tony. “I didn’t [answer] him right away,” reflected Caren.

“After being married for 42 years, it was kind of lonely living in the house,” said Tony. “I didn’t [just] want to live with someone. I wanted a long-term commitment. I’d been married my whole life and I had a lot of life ahead of me,” said Tony.

“We weren’t looking for this, but we had something in common because we’d had loss,” Caren said. “I started being his friend; he started being my friend.”

tony and caren by cyma shapiro 2.jpg

While they considered an elaborate wedding, a suggestion at the county clerk’s office to keep their names made them consider an easier path – finding a judge or magistrate available immediately and determined by day. “I said, ‘let’s get married tomorrow,’ ” said Tony. The pair went to a jewelry store that afternoon to pick out rings and asked a neighbor and her husband to stand as witnesses for them.

The next day, they visited the magistrate (working) in the local jail. They brought $20 in cash to pay for the ceremony. The neighbor brought a cake from Publix. They were married on October 28, 2015.

When asked later about the event, Tony joked to friends that they “had about six hundred people [in attendance], but most of them were wearing orange suits!”

And, in answer to people’s judgment about their marrying again so soon, or even at all, after the loss of spouses, Tony is clear: “The grief is still there. Just because we got married doesn’t mean that we don’t have feelings [about our previous lives],” he said, noting that they both had good marriages. “We go thru a process; we talk about it sometimes. There are still certain things you have to get over.”

We weren’t looking for this, but we had something in common because we’d had loss.
— Caren Carr

Having lived for a few years in Caren’s old home, last January, they moved into their new home, together. Now, they share a love of travel, of going out to restaurants, and of living in Florida for a few months/year each winter. They also share religious traditions and visits to their respective houses of worship.

“In older age, it’s different than when you are younger,” said Tony.  “We had to make a decision. I didn’t know how much time we’ve got. People say, ‘Why did you get married, you could go so soon!’ But, it doesn’t matter. We can have happiness.”

“We’ve been married four years. I’m happy,” he said. “It’s very difficult to change a lot of habits. She has her [ways]; I have mine,” said Tony, stating that in the end, they “work it out.”

“But, it’s a really happy story,” added Caren.

At their passing, the couple will bequeath money to HPCCR. “We’re so grateful for meeting and for the care our spouses got,” said Caren.

The People of Matthews: Four Buddies on Bikes

Four buddies out for a ride on a warm fall day, biking their usual daily "60 miles or so." Ranging in age from 44-68, they had stopped to check one of their bikes. Members of various local biking clubs, the oldest one (left) has clocked in about 14,000 biking miles this year.

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

The People of Matthews: The Lauries

Matthews residents Patrick (42) and Wati (43) Laurie (formerly from Alaska and New York, respectively), with daughter, Marie, out for a pre-Halloween stroll. What’s with the costume? “It’s what we represent as a family and a community,” said Wati. 

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

Photo by Cyma Shapiro

Courtney Buckley and the Drive Behind Your Mom's Donuts

If you’re looking for the 55+ Meetup article, please click here. We’re so sorry for the early morning confusion.


courtney2.jpeg

“I would like people to think of us as an ethical business…A big part of having the business for me is being a part of the community - to give other people jobs.”

This October, Courtney Buckley will celebrate the 5th anniversary of her business, Your Mom’s Donuts. The idea was to run a (family) business…support her family and pay her employees a living wage. “I originally just wanted a family-friendly donut shop,” she said.

Back then, she was a brand new mom who delivered her donuts to people. Now, she owns three locations (Matthews, Charlotte and Monroe, NC) and is scouting around for more (looking at Davidson and South Charlotte). “I’m getting to the point where I’d like to grow this to a much larger brand, regionally,” she said. Courtney employees four full-time and three part-time employees. “I’m always looking for an opportunity (for another shop),” she said. Her Matthews kitchen, at her flagship store, is used to bake donuts for the other locations. Nearly 2,100 donuts were made on a recent Saturday, alone.

Her donuts remain square, not round; her flavors are all natural and are sometimes found right at the Farmer’s Market: carrot-thyme; strawberry fennel jam; snow pea glaze with yogurt drizzle; sliced beets; cucumber-mint; and basil when it’s available. “I didn’t want anything here that I wouldn’t find in my own kitchen,” she said. Her one caveat? The recent addition of sprinkles on her donuts. Everyone wanted sprinkles, she said, which she “fought and fought and fought,” but recently agreed to add them on top.

Nothing is premade; everything possible is found locally; and she supports local businesses, too (Pure Intentions Coffee, for example).

ymd interior 3.jpg

While donuts are her main staple, any leftovers at the end of the day are turned into donut bread pudding at night – a fan favorite.

It is not lost on Courtney that she remains one of the few women entrepreneurs in the Charlotte food-service industry. “I’m constantly trying to find other women as mentors,” she said. “Most of the mentors I go to are men.” She added that she sometimes encounters sexism in the workplace to which she responds by “put(ting) my head down and just go. It’s like white noise. We get used to it as women,” she said.

It is her wish that she can serve as a mentor to younger women entering the food service industry, and as a role model to her children. “I think I’m an entrepreneur first; I think that’s what makes me the mother I am. I WANT my girls to see their mom do something,” she said.

She would also like to continue giving back to her employees and the community at large. “I would like people to think of us as an ethical business, a business which not only treats their employees fairly but puts out a good product without thinking about the bottom dollar,” said Courtney. “A big part of having the business for me is being a part of the community - to give other people jobs.”

“There are people that I delivered to their doors (and) they had two kids, now they have four. I have watched their families grow, and I LOVE that. It’s an amazing thing to feel part of something so much bigger,” she said.

Ultimately, it’s the joy – of baking, being a mom and an entrepreneur, supporting her family, living within a tight-knit community, giving back whenever possible, and satisfying her customers which drives Courtney on. “Donuts make people happy,” she said. “Nobody walks into a donut shop in a bad mood.”

Photo courtesy Your Mom’s Donuts

Photo courtesy Your Mom’s Donuts

Your Mom’s Donuts: 11025 Monroe Rd, Matthews

Mon – Fri 7:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m.

Sat 7:00 a.m.- 2:00 p.m.

Sun Closed

Christmas Made in the South Shows Start in Matthews

We have more than 300 artists and craftsmen, many of them will be demonstrating their work. (Our) show is rated in the top 100 fine art and craft shows by Sunshine Artists, which rates more than 100,000 shows in the country.
— Janice Hunt
Image courtesy Carolina Shows

Image courtesy Carolina Shows

Bob and Janice Hunt started Carolina Shows Inc. in Matthews 40 years ago, but you may not recognize the business name. More likely you’ll recognize their holiday-dressed mouse (Curtis) or the name of their annual craft shows: Christmas Made in the South. Every October artists and crafters from all over the US kick off their holiday sales season by setting up booths for three days in Cabarrus Arena. Over the long weekend, they’ll see about 15,000 shoppers. Those shoppers trek from all over the Carolinas and beyond to the Cabarrus Arena for the Charlotte-area Christmas Made in the South Show.

About 20 years ago the Hunts’ son Russ joined the office crew. Despite growing up involved in the show production, Russ wasn’t initially interested in continuing the legacy. After graduating college with a theater degree the younger Hunt tried it out for a season and was hooked. Russ remembers, “That first year was insane, scary and fun so here I am 20 years later and still having a good time with the shows. It's nice to provide this experience to communities and wonderful to see what a tradition it's become to so many people.”

Image courtesy Carolina Shows

Image courtesy Carolina Shows

It’s no easy feat organizing a craft show where each vendor is responsible for making their own unique wares for sale. Nothing commercially made or manufactured is allowed, a standard that keeps the business operating full-time year round. Carolina Shows employs five people in their Matthews office and hires an additional 5 part-time employees to help operate the show itself.

While holiday ornaments in retail stores seem out of place in September, Carolina Shows begins even earlier. Their holiday season during the summer, when vendor applications begin arriving in the daily mail. The applications are processed and then judged based on the quality of artists’ work. “There has to be creativity with their work as we do not allow any commercial products in our shows,” Russ explains. “A good rule is that it has to be at least 50% altered to be considered a craft.”

“We have more than 300 artists and craftsmen,” says Janice, the show director. “Many of them will be demonstrating their work. (Our) show is rated in the top 100 fine art and craft shows by Sunshine Artists, which rates more than 100,000 shows in the country.” Each show is carefully curated to include a diverse group of vendors, from blown and stained glass to handmade clothing, and jewelry. Only a few crafters of each genre are accepted, including the fanciful polymer clay work of Matthews Artist Karen Elizondo.

cmis glass.jpg

Every October artists and crafters from all over the US kick off their holiday sales season by setting up booths for three days in Cabarrus Arena. Over the long weekend, they’ll see about 15,000 shoppers.

From their Matthews office near the Brace YMCA, Carolina Shows produces six Christmas Made in the South shows starting with Charlotte. After that the full tour includes Columbus, GA, Macon, GA, Savannah, GA, Jacksonville, FL and the season ends in Charleston, SC. Carolina Shows also organizes one spring show in Savannah, GA.

Brainstorming for the future, Russ hopes to one day create an "Outside Division" of shows and have more outdoor arts and crafts fairs. He laments, “It's tricky though to find the correct location and economically it's a bit tough.” In the meantime, they’ll continue to produce incredible arts and crafts shows, and it all starts in Matthews.


CmiS logo.jpg

Christmas Made in the South

October 19 through 21, 2018

Cabarrus Arena * Free parking!

GPS: 4551 Old Airport Rd., Concord, NC 28025

10 AM. – 6 PM Friday * 10 AM – 6 PM Saturday * 11 AM – 5 PM Sunday

The People of Matthews: Marty Todys

Marty Todys, 64, lives in Matthews. Marty rides 3 1/2 miles every day to and from work. When it rains, his wife comes to pick Marty up, and his bike.

cyma Marty Todys.jpg
I stay on the sidewalks. If there’s a car in the crosswalk, I’m gonna let them know they’re in my crosswalk. I’m 64!
— Marty Todys

Interested in cycle-commuting? According to BikeWalkNC, North Carolina traffic laws treat bicycles as vehicles and treat bicyclists as drivers of vehicles.  Cyclists should be treated with the same safety and respect as other vehicles. More information on cycling laws here.